It’s time for me to get super honest.
I have no idea what I’m doing. Perhaps that has been obvious to you the whole time, or perhaps I’ve managed to fool you.
Either way, in the interests of being authentic and vulnerable, I’d rather just come forward and say that this whole blogging, newsletter-writing, internet sharing thing is a huge experiment for me.
I started my blog because I love journaling and anything to do with creativity. I wanted to share that love and the things I learn with everyone else. But the more I read other people’s blogs, the more I wanted to be like them: Running courses! Writing e-books! Blogging full-time!
Except that I neglected to realise that most of these people have been blogging for years.
So I set about making my blog just as awesome as theirs. Posting several times a week, creating a newsletter, making freebies, designing courses, looking for guest-blogging opportunities, making plans for videos…
And I stopped wanting to blog at all. I found that the more pressure I placed on myself to grow my blog and get readers and become ‘successful’, the less I felt like blogging at all.
Suddenly my blog wasn’t a place for me to share journaling goodness, to develop my writing voice and connect with others. Suddenly my blog was supposed to be a business. I even stopped wanting to journal, because every time I picked up my journal I just wrote about how I had no motivation to blog, and that made me feel so disappointed in myself.
It took some wise words of advice from a dear friend to make me step back and reassess the whole thing: take some time off.
I panicked. I can’t take time off, I have a blog to grow. But she pointed out that clearly what I was doing wasn’t working, so it was time to change tack. Take some time off and just detach from the situation for a little bit.
So I did. Several weeks, in fact. At the time I felt like the whole blog would come crashing down around me, like readers would be unsubscribing by the busload, like everything I had created so far would fade into oblivion.
But that did not happen. Instead, what happened was I found time to enjoy journaling again. I took a step back and thought about what I really want for the blog, why I want to blog, and what I want this process to feel like.
After watching this video I had an epiphany – what if I just blog when I want to?
What if I just share something because it inspires me, not because it will draw readers? What if I just let the blog evolve at its own pace, naturally, without pushing it forward?
And my passion and enthusiasm for my blog returned. Of course – it’s my blog, I can do what I like!
So I’m taking the pressure off myself. I’m showing myself a little compassion and remembering why I started: blogging for the sheer pleasure of it.