What other people think of me is none of my business – Wayne Dyer.
This is a phrase he has used often and it is so true.
Another way that Dyer phrased it was when he was paraphrasing Abraham Maslow, and stated that a self-actualized person is ‘independent of the good opinion of others.’
I spent years trying to fit in and get approval from others. I used to worry about saying the wrong thing, wearing the wrong thing, liking the wrong thing… so much so that I forgot who I was, what I liked.
Maybe it comes with age, I don’t know. But the older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve realised that what other people think of me really doesn’t matter.
So what if they don’t like what I’m wearing? I like it.
So what if they think I’m strange or weird? I like me. I’m happy with myself the way I am. That’s all that really matters.
There’s a line in one of my favourite India Arie songs that goes,
No matter what anybody says, what matters the most is what you think of yourself.
If you find yourself spending a lot of time trying to please others or win their approval, it might be worth considering why this is.
I know that when I used to feel worse about myself and have lower levels of self esteem, it was certainly worse. Since I’ve spent time and effort learning to love myself, I’ve cared less and less what others think. I guess it’s because my self worth no longer relies on their approval, because I give it to myself.
The way I see it, I’ll never be able to please everyone anyway. There will always be someone who disagrees with my decisions. So I may as well please myself.
Provided I’m not harming myself or others, it is totally up to me how I live my life. All that matters is that I am happy with myself and my life. Those who disapprove, well, they don’t need to be around me. They can take their disapproval elsewhere.
Do you worry about what others think of you? In what ways?
Why do you think you worry about the opinions of others?
How would your life be different if you could live independent of the good opinion of others?
What is your opinion of yourself? Be as brutally honest as you can. What do you judge yourself for?
If it is negative, how can you work to change this – to be kinder and more accepting of yourself? One way is to write a letter to yourself as if you were your own best friend. It is very unlikely that they would say the kinds of things you tend to say to yourself.
Note: this post was originally part of a series of 30 life lessons and journal prompts for my 30th birthday. You can access the rest of the lessons and prompts here.