Self Empowerment

On sickness and blogging

Jen Morris

I am sick at the moment. Sore throat. Runny nose. Headache. Just general crapness.

I have attempted to write an amazing blog post three times now. It’s not happening. Time to face the fact: today’s post is going to be pretty average.

But I guess by honouring where I am right now and being authentic, there may be something worth saying.

That’s one of the really hard things about doing this every day. And I guess this would apply to doing anything every day. Some days it just won’t work, for whatever reason. Maybe you run out of time. Maybe you have to take care of your kids or your partner or someone else, and there’s no room left for you at the end of it. Maybe you’re unwell *cough*.

I think it’s good to commit to doing something regularly.

I’ve seen dramatic changes in my life from journaling and blogging regularly. And it’s been really good to be pushed to do it every day. Mostly. Most of the time, I just need a wee nudge to get on with it and then I’m glad I did. Having the commitment encourages me to challenge myself.

And, occasionally, I don’t want to do it. And that’s also ok. Taking a break from doing something can also be rewarding and can help you to move towards your goal faster, without burning out.

So while I am still posting today because that’s the commitment I’ve made and I want to show up, I’m also going easy on myself. This isn’t brilliant writing. But I think it’s good to show that.

It’s good to let the world see me on my crap days too.

To see that I’m trying, that I’m willing to push forward – to see me as I am, now.

Because otherwise, how can we truly be vulnerable? How can we truly progress, if we can’t admit when we aren’t feeling good, when we need a little help, when things aren’t going to plan? How can we grow without accepting where we are?

What Inspires Me

Weekly inspiration

Jen Morris

Each week I share a series of the blogs/posts that have most inspired me. Feel free to share anything that has inspired you in the comments below!

 

Artist Nichole Rae has finally released her art journaling book. Yay! I am so excited about this and can’t wait for my copy to arrive.

Leonie tells us why burnout is normal and how to manage it. I love this woman’s approach to life and business. An inspiration!

After discussing how I define success, I was very interested to read Barry’s definition of success.

I recently missed a day of blogging in my 100 days, and I can SO totally relate to this post about starting and stopping and starting again!

I can’t get enough of my Neat and Tangled stamps that I bought from Butterfly Reflections Ink! I use them to add images and colour to my journal pages. Vanessa at Butterfly Reflections Ink is so lovely, totally recommend her store!

Creativity

Journal prompt: Define success

Jen Morris

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately after coming across my old journals from high school. I posted earlier this week about allowing ourselves to dream big – as we do when we are younger.

Today as I was journaling, and thinking about the things the younger me wanted but didn’t have, I realised something. I am unsure of what success looks like – or at least, what it looks like to me. I don’t know how to define success in my own life.

I must say, I was a little shocked. As much as I know what I want to achieve in my life (and a lot of that has changed from when I was younger!) I wasn’t able to clearly articulate what my life would look like if I were ‘successful’.

Success obviously means different things to different people – for some it is the more obvious signs of success such as a nice house or car, getting married, earning a certain amount of money. For others it is simply to wake up each day with a smile, or to spend their time as they would like.

values

Somehow I had managed to avoid answering this question for myself, despite the fact that I spend a lot of time thinking about what I want more of in my life.The more I journaled about this, the clearer I got.

For me, success is:

  • being able  to support myself (and my family-to-be) financially
  • being able to travel regularly
  • making a living using my creativity and being myself
  • the freedom to choose how I spend my time and how much I work
  • completing creative projects such as writing and art
  • building my own house with my own hands – and not owing money on it
  • helping others to live satisfying and fulfilling lives

A few of these things I was unaware of. The first one was a bit of a surprise – I had always assumed I would be happy for my partner to be the breadwinner while I took care of the family. But actually, I have realised that it is important to me to contribute financially and even support our family so my partner can follow his creative dreams.

What does success mean to you? You might think you know, but try answering the following prompts. It’s good to have a clear idea because otherwise it’s difficult to know how you feel about your life and what you want to achieve.

>>> Prompts:

First of all, identify what it is you value. What is most important to you in life?

Growing up, what did it mean to you to be successful as an adult? Who did you admire for their success – what did they have/do? (For example, I wanted nothing more than to be Mariah Carey because of her amazing voice and huge international success – now I’m not so sure I’d want that at all!)

Do you still admire these people, or are there new people you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

If you were to meet someone who you felt was successful, what would their life look like? Is it different from how society tends to define success? How? How does it tie into your values?

At the end of your life if you were to look back on what you have done, what would your life look like if you had been successful? Or, if you were to read your own obituary, what would you like it to say?

Creativity

A peek into my vision journals

Jen Morris

Today I just wanted to share a few images from my vision journals.

One of these is my creative dream journal, which is a berry coloured A5 planner from Kikki K (very similar to a Filofax).

creative-dream-journal

The other journal is part of a business and blogging journal that I’m working on at the moment with The Right Brain Business Plan and The Creative Entrepreneur, as well as including anything else for my business planning that inspires me.

blog-and-business-journalI love to use magazine images and words to help me in these journals. I love magazines that have images of creative things – art, writing, desks – as well as homes, gardens and other similar images. These are the images that resonate the most with me.

I tend to have one big session where I go through a stack of magazines and cut out anything I find appealing. Then another time I will put on a movie, or music, or an audio book, and just spend a couple of hours arranging the images and words. Sometimes I will add my own words, and washi tape if I feel like it.

The thing I have noticed is that it is important to work quickly and not get too hung up on getting it perfect. Try to work from your intuition rather than logic. The idea is to create images and words that make you feel inspired – it’s like creating a vision board in a journal. It’s images designed to generate the positive feelings of whatever it is you hope to draw closer to you.

The two things I am most working on at the moment are building my creative business and finding a wonderful place to live.

vision-1

vision-5

vision-4

vision-3

Creativity, Self Empowerment, Spirituality

Gratitude as a daily practice

Jen Morris

 

There is a good deal of scientific evidence to support the practice of gratitude, much of it from Martin Seligman.

While I actively try to practice gratitude each day through simply thinking about what I’m lucky to have in my life, Seligman suggests writing a list of things that went well in your day, so that you have a physical record.

As a creative journaling addict, I look for any excuse to get out the art supplies and play! A daily gratitude list is the perfect excuse.

Seligman suggests that the reason we need to make a conscious effort to acknowledge what is good in our lives is because we are hardwired to look out for threats and danger.

We tend to spend more time analysing things that have gone wrong, rather than celebrating the good things, because in the past, it made good sense for our survival. Of course, things are  a little different now.

As part of your daily gratitude practice, take a few minutes towards the end of the day to write three things that went well that day. Also write why they happened. You should do this for at least a week to experience positive changes.

For example, my list today looks like this:

  • I wrote in my journal for two hours because this is important to me and I made the time
  • I slept in late because I needed the rest and wanted to look after myself
  • I wrote two blog posts, despite missing a day, because I’m committed to finishing the 100 Days Project

What are three things that have gone well for you today? Why have they gone well? Try to do this every day for a week and see how you’re feeling. It need only take 5 minutes tops!

Seligman promises that by practising gratitude each day like this, we’ll be “less depressed, happier, and addicted to this exercise six months from now.”

Sounds pretty good to me!

Creativity, Self Empowerment

Perfectionism: be gentle with yourself

Jen Morris

Well, it finally happened: I missed a day of blogging in my 100 days.

Not even for a good reason – mostly just poor organisation. I was tempted to beat myself up about this ‘failure’, but then I reminded myself of one of my intentions for the 100 Days Project: overcome perfectionism.

If anything, this is a good learning opportunity. I missed a day in my (so far) perfect 36 day blogging streak. In the past, I would have probably given up at this point because I’ve ‘messed it up’ (thank you years of dieting for this kind of thinking).

Actually, let’s be honest: in the past I probably wouldn’t have made it this far. I’ve mentioned before that it’s hard to blog every day. I actually think if I didn’t have followers I probably would have given up weeks ago. But I’ve managed to keep going.

And instead of using this missed day as an opportunity to berate myself for once again failing to do something right, I’m going to take the chance to congratulate myself for doing something well, and for getting straight back into it. I’m not going to let my perfectionism trip me up again.

I read an interesting quote about perfectionism:

At its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous. It’s about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success – Michael Law

Did I miss a day in my 100 days? Yes. Does that mean I’ve failed the project? Only if I stop here.

Life is not black and white, failure or success. It is not doing it right or not doing it at all.

Life is making mistakes, getting messy, quitting, then starting again, then taking a step back, then making headway, then hitting a wall, then trying again. It is never linear, it is never straightforward, it is never without error.

Celebrate what is going well, and be gentle when you make mistakes.

Speak to yourself as you would to your best friend, or a small child: you wouldn’t tell them they are a loser who you always knew would fail. You wouldn’t tell them to just give up now because they will never succeed. No: you would speak to them gently, you would remind them of what they’ve done well, you would encourage them to keep going.

Try to be aware of how you speak to yourself when you make mistakes or ‘fail’. How can you be more gentle with yourself?

What Inspires Me

Found poem: Finding certainty

Jen Morris

Her certainty in her own strength.
Maybe.
But who lives without question for what’s
to be?

What do I believe
and where can I imagine,
living a life without my favourite destination?

I accept bliss
and, of course,
the complete self.

Something about my recent joy has made me certain
that I must love in stupid excess.
I have to.

So I write.

I asked for guidance on my journey.
I’m entering life again.
It will happen.

The simple I need,
to have blessings.
My hands sign with love.

What Inspires Me

Weekly inspiration

Jen Morris

Each week I publish a series of links to websites and blogs that have inspired me. If you have anything that has inspired you this week, please share it in the comments below!

> I enjoyed reading this excerpt from Sassoon’s diary

> I stumbled upon this page and now I’m going to spend the next month soaking in the images and inspiration!

> My friend and business partner has started a new series documenting our creative business planning journey

> I really want a Midori Traveler’s Notebook, but they aren’t cheap! So I’m taking my inspiration from here to to make a fauxdori

> This week I’ve been playing in my art journal and so anything art-journal related really inspires me. This is cool!

Creativity

Journal prompt: The journey

Jen Morris

I was thinking tonight on the drive home from work how much I’ve changed over the past few years.

In particular, the past six months of consistent journaling have seen me reconnect with myself. This is a strange thing to say, but it’s true.

I feel more like myself than I have in a long time – possibly ever.

hot-air-balloonsIt’s like I was going through the motions, feeling like my life was a little off, not quite what I wanted – but I couldn’t put my finger on what it was that was wrong.

Now I know what was wrong. I was afraid (there’s that word again!). Afraid to listen to the little voice inside me – that’s when I could hear it – and afraid to make the changes I so craved to make.

I was afraid of failure, of what people would think, of having regrets, of not doing what I ‘should’ do.

And you know what? Fuck it. Life is too damn short.

I’m not afraid anymore.

The world is mine for the taking. I’m leaving behind the things that make me unhappy, the fears that people will judge me, or that I will make a mistake.

I’m creating an unconventional and exceptional life. I’m building a tiny house. I’m starting my own creative business so that I can work for myself, helping others and doing work I love. I’m creating regularly. I’ve quit dieting. These are just the first few steps towards a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life.

journey-quote

Here is possibly my most favourite poem, ever. It summarises my journey, and I’m sure, the journey of many others.

‘The Journey’ by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
‘Mend my life!’
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.

You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations
though their melancholy
was terrible. It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.

But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice,
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do – – –
determined to save
the only life you could save.

>>> Prompts:

What is your journey? Can you describe it in a few sentences or paragraphs or a poem? If you’re stuck, try to write it in the second person as Oliver has done in her poem.

How have you changed?

Is there a journey you would like to take (either metaphorical or literal)? What is stopping you?

Do you feel like yourself? If so, how do you know? If not, why not?

Creativity

Art journal play: The first two art journal prompts from the 30 Day Journal Project

Jen Morris

I finally made some time to play in my art journal this evening.

I’m quite new to art journaling and I’m just trying to see what others do and pick up things from them. I also try to see what I feel inspired to do at the time. Sometimes this works, other times it doesn’t.

I love playing with different media such as stamps, washi tape, acrylic paint, watercolours, markers, collage etc. I also love the idea that I can just cover anything I don’t like.

I really feel my perfectionism creeping in when I’m working in my art journal.

grow

I’d like to learn to relax a bit and go with the process, rather than worrying about how it’s going to look in the end. I want my  art journaling to be more about the process than the result.

I haven’t shared much of my art journaling on here. I don’t actually do it as often as I’d like – it’s more time-consuming than pen and paper journaling, and also I guess I worry about it not being ‘good enough’. Which is silly really, because it’s not about that.

At the moment I’m following the prompts from Lisa Sonora’s 30 Day Journal Project. I love how she starts each list of prompts with ‘do one, some, all, or none, as you wish’. It really helps me to feel free to choose and journal how I most feel like it. One thing that I have found to be really difficult with projects like this are too many rules.

The first prompt is about beginnings. Lisa provided the quote, from Henry David Thoreau:

There is no beginning too small.

no-beginning-too-small

I wanted to bring in the idea of the beginning being like a journey. I’m starting where I am, which is literally Auckland, New Zealand on this map. But it’s also about starting where I am in my life right now – with the skills, feelings, and desires I currently hold.

So often I put things off because I’m waiting for ‘the right time’ – whatever that is.

But more and more I’m realising that starting where I am is fine. Starting now, in fact, is better. Start where you are. You are here. Move forward from here.

Have faith.

you-are-here

These words appear so often in my journaling. Faith is a ‘being value’ I’m forever working on – a character trait that I would like to possess. I so often doubt myself, my work, my dreams, my skills, the possibilities for the future. I remind myself daily to have faith that things will work out. It never fails to reassure me, and keep me on track.

have-faith2

Be bold.

Courage is another being value I’m working with. In case you haven’t noticed, fear is something that seems to follow me around! Reminding myself to be bold kicks its butt, though.

be-bold

The second prompt is to do with commitment. This is something I really struggle with.

I’m fine with romantic commitment (I’ve been with my partner for over 5 years) but most other forms of commitment are tough for me. The thought of a mortgage terrifies me. I usually don’t stay in a job for more than a couple of years. I move house a lot. I change my mind a lot about things: I lose interest, lose motivation, lose faith. In fact, blogging every day as part of this 100 Day Project is one of my best commitments so far.

I think I’m afraid of getting trapped in something I don’t want. And I’m also afraid that I won’t see things through, so committing to something can be really hard when I doubt that I’ll finish it. I worry about over-committing to things and getting too busy and stressed.

I love my freedom and like to make choices based on how I feel at any given time (this is why I find full-time employment quite hard). But, I also think there are benefits to really committing to something worthwhile and seeing it through.

commit

Most of all, I think it’s important to be gentle and kind to ourselves. You can only ever do the best that you can at any one time. You are doing the best you can. Go gently.

It’s a very strange coincidence – I didn’t read the text before I put it down and painted over the top. Then I noticed these words:

make-a-commitment

Just try it. Experiment…make a commitment. Respond kindly.

Or perhaps it’s not a coincidence at all. The universe works in mysterious ways when you invite creativity into your life.