Tag: self care

Self Empowerment

We all get the same amount of time

Jen Morris

I read something interesting the other day on this awesome post on Brain Pickings (that website is amazing, FYI):

Without Time nothing is possible. Everything requires Time. Time is the only permanent and absolute ruler in the universe. But she is a scrupulously fair ruler. She treats every living person exactly alike every day. No matter how much of the world’s goods you have managed to accumulate, you cannot successfully plead for a single moment more than the pauper receives without ever asking for it. Time is the one great leveler. Everyone has the same amount to spend every day.

The next time you feel that you ‘haven’t the time’ to do what you really want to do, it may be worth-while for you to remember that you have as much time as anyone else — twenty-four hours a day. How you spend that twenty-four hours is really up to you.

That really got me thinking. It’s so funny how often we feel like we don’t have enough time to do things. But really, we all have the same amount of time to spend each day. It’s just about how we fill that time.

Most of us probably spend around 8-9 hours a day at work. Outside of that time, we can choose how we spend our time. (Some would also argue we can choose inside that time too, and I strongly agree, but that’s another post for another day).

Today, even though I was super busy with work, I made time for some important things:

  • Having dinner with my partner
  • An after work nap
  • Watching a favourite film (Midnight in Paris, seen it so many times and love it!)
  • Sitting and enjoying a cup of coffee
  • Tidying and organising my office
  • A quick look in a few stationery stores
  • Cuddles with my pup
  • Blogging

Actually, the one thing I haven’t done today was journal. I guess that’s first to make time for tomorrow!

What have you made time for today?

Self Empowerment

Let sleep heal you

Jen Morris

I don’t know about you, but I’m a real sleep person.

I need more than the average person. Some people can manage on 6 or 7 hours a night – I can get 9 and still be tired.

I think it’s because I’m a highly sensitive person – I tend to get overwhelmed and exhausted more easily.

And being a busy teacher doesn’t help.

Sometimes we just need to sleep and rest. Today is one of those days for me.

If you are feeling tired, take time to rest without feeling guilty. Your to do list can wait. The laundry can wait. The vacuuming can wait. Take a luxurious nap in the afternoon. Sleep in late and have tea in bed when you wake up. Read and go back to sleep.

Rest and let sleep heal you.

Creativity

Journal prompt: Balance your creative energy

Jen Morris

I’m feeling quite drained at the moment. Work is very busy and when I do have free time I’m trying to fit in my journaling – both written and art journaling.

I’ve been listening to an audio book in my car on the way to work which is fascinating: Daily Rituals: How Artists Work by Mason Currey. The book gives quite specific details of the daily working/creative rituals of artists, writers, musicians, philosophers and other creatives from all different time periods.

One thing that has stood out to me is how often each of these daily rituals include some form of investment in creative energy.

lovely-list

What I mean is this: when we spend a lot of time working, or creating, or socialising, we are effectively spending our creative energy. These are activities whereby we produce and our energy flows outwards.

If we do too much of these activities, particularly if we are introverted, we can end up feeling a bit drained.

Our society puts a lot of emphasis on being productive and expending energy, but we need to make sure that we are taking the time to renew that creative energy too.

I think it’s really important to balance this with doing restful and rejuvenating things whereby we ‘refill’ our creative energy tanks. These are things where we receive something, rather than produce something. I guess it’s like receiving inspiration, in a way. It’s like a sort of investment in our creative bank account, so that we then have enough to ‘spend’ later.

For me, things where I consider myself to be spending my creative energies are:

  • Working
  • Writing
  • Socialising with groups of people
  • Blogging
  • Art journaling (certain kinds)
  • Doing housework
  • Doing things for others (most of my day job is about this)

So I need to remember to balance this with activities that refill my creative tanks and renew my creative energy:

  • Reading
  • Listening to inspiring/relaxing music
  • Listening to audio books
  • Listening to guided meditations
  • Journaling (although I technically ‘produce’ something when journaling, the act of deliberately thinking, writing and reflecting fills me up more than it drains me)
  • Napping/sleeping
  • Sitting with a cup of tea/coffee in the morning sun, being still and taking my time
  • Long walks
  • Spending time with people who get me and inspire me – usually having long and interesting talks
  • Cuddles with my partner or puppy
  • Yoga
  • Watching an interesting documentary or inspiring movie

I’m not suggesting that one list is better or more important than the other. To me, it’s about balance. We need to spend our creative energies, but of course we also need to invest in them.

>>> Prompts:

Take a fresh page in your journal. Create two headings:

  • How I spend my creative energy
  • How I renew my creative energy

List all the things you can think of under each heading. Your lists may look similar to mine or they may be very different. It all comes down to what works for you.

If you’re not sure which heading to put something under, consider this: does the activity leave you feeling more tired/drained or rejuvenated/refreshed afterwards?

Now, think about whether or not your life has a good balance between the two lists. If not, consider how you can bring in more of the other to create more balance for your creative energy.

Creativity, Self Empowerment

The risk to blossom

Jen Morris

 

Anais Nin famously said:

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

I love this quote, so much. It is only recently that I have come to realise that it is too painful for me to remain tight in a bud – I am now taking the risk to blossom.

I think this quote means that we stay in our comfort zones, we deny our true feelings and we try to protect ourselves.

Since starting a regular journaling routine, I have come to realise that I can blossom – it isn’t as scary or dangerous as it seems. I have all the courage I need inside.

Here are a few of the ways I used to ‘remain tight in a bud’:

  • Drinking
  • Watching a lot of television
  • Spending hours online
  • Napping
  • Overeating
  • Spending time with people I didn’t really care for, just so I wouldn’t have to be alone
  • Overworking, becoming exhausted
  • Denying that I had any control over my life
  • Shopping aimlessly
  • Dieting relentlessly
  • Perfectionism and procrastination

But now that I’ve created an ongoing dialogue with my true, authentic self through my daily journaling routine, I am finding the courage to ‘blossom’ in these ways:

  • Starting (and continuing) a creative practice
  • Experimenting with different art supplies and techniques, such as acrylic paint, watercolour, mixed media, crayons, pencils, pens, etc
  • Building a tiny house
  • Starting my own creative business
  • Acknowledging my deepest desires and daring to believe I can make them a reality
  • Sharing my work, my thoughts and ideas with others
  • Accepting myself as a flawed but deeply lovable human being
  • Quitting dieting

These are just a few of the ways I have sought to change my life over the past 6 months. Looking back now it seems like I’ve made quite a few big changes – most of them are internal. Most of them are shifts in my sense of courage, of determination. the external changes have naturally flowed on from there.

I can’t say it enough: it is the simple act of journaling each day that has allowed me to get to this point. It is the ongoing conversation with my true self, with my inner wisdom and courage. It is being awake in my life, rather than numbing my feelings through the things in the first list above.

So I challenge you: in what ways do you attempt to remain tight in a bud, and how can you find the courage to blossom?

Creativity

Journal prompt: I am…

Jen Morris

Today I want to share a simple journal prompti-am I found in Marlene Schiwy’s A Voice of Her Own. This is a great book with lots of journaling tips, techniques, prompts and ideas. I’m really enjoying reading it at the moment.

The prompt is fairly simple, but it got me thinking about different aspects of my life, and myself, on quite a deep level.

It doesn’t take very long, and your answers could serve as a base to give you more to write about in detail in later journal entries.

>>> Prompt:

Take three pages in your journal. At the top of page one, write ‘I am’, at the top of page two write ‘I am not’ and on the last page write ‘I would like to be’.

Then, doing one page at a time, fill it with whatever comes to mind. You could do your pages as mindmaps, you could freewrite, or you could list your answers.

My answers were in list form, some were single words and others phrases. Here is a some from my own journal entry:

I am…

  • Creative
  • Ambitious
  • Tired
  • Hopeful
  • Learning to express myself creatively
  • Changing my life
  • Developing courage
  • Passionate about many things
  • Loving

I am not…i-would-like-to-be

  • Prepared to put my dreams on hold for any longer
  • Going to keep hiding parts of myself
  • Dieting
  • Prepared to settle
  • Going to limit my dreams and desires
  • Satisfied

I would like to be…

  • Fearless
  • At peace
  • Free
  • More focused and less scattered
  • An inspiration and role model to others
  • More willing to take risks
  • More creative

These are just a few things from my own lists. These lists are quite simple but there is a lot here that I could explore in later journal entries. I was even surprised by a few things that came up – for example, ‘I am not going to keep hiding parts of myself’. This has highlighted to me that there are times when I feel like I can’t truly be myself, which is something I would like to explore further.

If you have 15 minutes this weekend, take the time to try this prompt!

Creativity

Any journaling is good journaling

Jen Morris

This morning I was in a rush. I had a stack of things to organise at work before the day began and I wanted to get straight to it.

I didn’t have time to journal, and besides, I didn’t feel like I had anything to say really. What would be the point?

But as I was driving to work, I caught myself. What was I thinking?

There’s always time to journal, and if there isn’t – I make the time.

That’s how it has become a part of my daily routine, and created some amazing changes in my life: by making the time for it every day.

And not having anything to say? Phooey. I always have something to say once I sit down with my pen and my journal.

I found a quiet spot and pulled my car over. I told myself: you don’t have to write pages and pages, just allow 15 minutes.

I only wrote two pages but it was enough to feel like I’d taken some time out for myself.

I started the day in less of a rush: calmer and happier.

Sure, it wasn’t my most thought-provoking entry. It wasn’t the longest, or the deepest or the most interesting.

But the act of taking the time to journal was beneficial.

It didn’t matter that I was 15 minutes later to work. All of the things I had to do were still waiting for me when I got there. Everything was fine.

So I urge you, this weekend: take any time you can to journal. No matter how short, or how pointless it may seem. Take the time out for yourself.

What Inspires Me

Wild Geese

Jen Morris

Today I just wanted to share another poem I love by Mary Oliver. I love her poetry. She has an amazing way of weaving together beautiful natural imagery and the wonder that is life.

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Creativity

Journal prompt: Your perfect day

Jen Morris

I’m at the beginning of a journey to overhaul my life.

There are many things I want to change, and I’m using journaling as a tool to keep me honestly asking myself what I want my life to look like, and to help me find the courage I need each step of the way.

I also use my journal as a place to dream what my new life will look like.

We often do this for the big picture stuff – what job we want, where we want to live, what kind of partner we are looking for.

I think it can be easy to overlook the simple day-to-day moments that make up a good life. A while ago I asked you to dream big by thinking about what you want for your life in your journal. Now, I want you to dream smaller: think about your perfect day. This journal prompt should help you to do just that.

perfect-day

Sandy Grason (author of Journalution) says:

In your journals you can collect visions of how you would like your days to unfold. Reflect on them often. Meditating on these visions and imagining that you are living them will help attract the circumstances to create them. As you get clearer and clearer about your life and your dreams, paths will appear.

>>> Prompt:

Write, in great detail, about your perfect day. Start in the morning. Consider where you wake up – what kind of bed it is, who is there with you, what time of day it is. What can you see around you? What view is out the window? What do you do – do you get up and make coffee, do you stretch before the sunrise, or do you sleep until midday? What do you eat for breakfast? Who do you spend your time with, and what do you do? Give all the details. Continue in much the same amount of detail for the rest of the day.

details

Here’s the fun part – you don’t have to limit yourself to one day. Perhaps you could do one ‘outrageous’ perfect day (you know – the one where you wake up and Johnny Depp is next to you, wanting to take you shopping and then rub your tired feet) and one more ‘likely’ perfect day.

My perfect day involves waking up when I felt rested, listening to my body rather than an alarm clock.

It means having the time and freedom to play in my art journal, write and walk my pup with my partner. Time out in nature, time to rest, delicious food. This is certainly achievable for me, in my long-term plans, and having regular days like this will really help to fill me up.

These are the kinds of perfect days I will incorporate more and more into my life as I create a life more in line with my values.

My ‘outrageous’ perfect day involves waking up in Rome and wandering down the cobbled streets eating pastry before flying to Manhattan to party into the night with the cast of The Office. Not exactly something I would want for my everyday life (or very likely to happen!), but certainly an amazing day!

What is your perfect day?

Self Empowerment

Take all the time you need

Jen Morris

The universe has a way of slowing us down if we are going too fast. So often we feel reluctant to stop and rest when we can be busy and productive.

Our society prizes busy-ness over rest.

Today I had a hard time just resting, just doing nothing. But, my body was screaming at me to stop, so I curled up on the couch with a blanket, my laptop, some lemon tea and watched Friends re-runs (I would have chosen The Office but I watched that not long ago).

It was great. I will probably have to do the same thing tomorrow.

I felt myself wanting to go to my desk, to paint or play with my new stamp-carving supplies (yay!) or do a load of laundry (not so yay, but still has to be done!), but I forced myself to stay under the covers. I even had to cancel dinner with friends, which I had been looking forward to all week.

I talk a lot about rest. I don’t think it can be overemphasized in today’s world.

As a highly sensitive person (HSP) I tend to feel more easily overwhelmed, tired and just plain run-down than the average person. Add to that a stressful teaching job, and I’m basically constantly tired. Approximately 15-20% of the population is HSP (see here).

I do my best to stay as productive as the next person – I do my creative projects, spend time with family and friends, walk the dog, work on my creative business – but sometimes life just steps in and says ‘Enough for now! Time to rest!’

The key is being able to notice the signs, then having the courage to say no – to cancel appointments, to turn down invitations, to risk letting people down.

I’m sick with a cold at the moment, but you don’t need to have an illness to need time to rest. Sometimes it’s just feeling tired, overwhelmed, tearful, crabby or like you just want everyone to leave you alone.

So take the time to rest. Take all the time you need.

Self Empowerment

On sickness and blogging

Jen Morris

I am sick at the moment. Sore throat. Runny nose. Headache. Just general crapness.

I have attempted to write an amazing blog post three times now. It’s not happening. Time to face the fact: today’s post is going to be pretty average.

But I guess by honouring where I am right now and being authentic, there may be something worth saying.

That’s one of the really hard things about doing this every day. And I guess this would apply to doing anything every day. Some days it just won’t work, for whatever reason. Maybe you run out of time. Maybe you have to take care of your kids or your partner or someone else, and there’s no room left for you at the end of it. Maybe you’re unwell *cough*.

I think it’s good to commit to doing something regularly.

I’ve seen dramatic changes in my life from journaling and blogging regularly. And it’s been really good to be pushed to do it every day. Mostly. Most of the time, I just need a wee nudge to get on with it and then I’m glad I did. Having the commitment encourages me to challenge myself.

And, occasionally, I don’t want to do it. And that’s also ok. Taking a break from doing something can also be rewarding and can help you to move towards your goal faster, without burning out.

So while I am still posting today because that’s the commitment I’ve made and I want to show up, I’m also going easy on myself. This isn’t brilliant writing. But I think it’s good to show that.

It’s good to let the world see me on my crap days too.

To see that I’m trying, that I’m willing to push forward – to see me as I am, now.

Because otherwise, how can we truly be vulnerable? How can we truly progress, if we can’t admit when we aren’t feeling good, when we need a little help, when things aren’t going to plan? How can we grow without accepting where we are?